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About us

CLUB NOIR, CLUB NOIR MUSIC, CLUB NOIR FILMS, THEATRE SHOWS, WORKSHOPS, EVENTS MANAGEMENT, TALENT MANAGEMENT

CLUB NOIR is an extraordinary burlesque club.

It’s a club night with DJs, 2 burlesque shows and bands.

We hold clubs in Glasgow, Edinburgh and London.

We are officially the biggest burlesque club in the world – with up to 2,000 people selling out weeks in advance. That’s right – the biggest in the entire world! By far! We are in the Guinness World Records. You have to experience the atmosphere of having 2,000 people dressed to kill watching one of the top burlesque shows in the world.

In 2007, 2008, 2010 and 2011 we were the biggest cabaret event at the world’s biggest arts festival – the Edinburgh Fringe.

We like Big.

Biggest of course doesn’t mean best. But we think we’re up there. Decide for yourself – check out our photos or better still come along.

In addition to world-class shows, Club Noir has been creating scandals since March 2004. We were the first burlesque club in Scotland and we are now the oldest burlesque club in the UK.

Clubs are held around 4 to 6 times a year. Each club has a theme.

We are one of the friendliest clubs you are ever likely to set foot in. We’re often likened to a huge party at someone’s house. People come from all over Britain and abroad. We’ve been visited by stars such as Channing Tatum, Helena Bonham Carter and Vanessa Paradis.

We’ve done events for the likes of Wonderbra, Chinawhites, MTV, The List magazine, VisitScotland, Stephen K Amos, Glasgow International Comedy Festival, Glasgow Film Theatre, National Theatre of Scotland and T in the Park. We hosted the only UK premier of the film “The Notorious Betty Page”. We’ve worked with the likes of Scottish Ballet, Scottish Opera and Richard O’Brien of Rocky Horror to help promote their own shows. We were the first to take burlesque to Siberia.

‘Club Noir’ has a world-wide registered trademark. ®

CLUB NOIR SHOWS

We create new acts and extravagant shows for every theme. For each theme – acts are dreamt up, props commissioned; costumes designed, performers cast and dances choreographed.

We are very proud to say that our core burlesque performers are unique to us. They only work with the best – at Club Noir and events chosen by us. To this core we have had other guest performers – many performers from La Clique, Rick from Ash DJing, Principle musicians from RSNO (Royal Scottish National Orchestra),  principle singers from Scottish Opera,  celebs have featured such as Jon Fratelli, Paul Daniels and Jim Bowen.

We have around 50 Club Noir troupers at each club. That doesn’t include all the people involved in the run up to the night – creating visuals, designing, making costumes etc, etc. Nor the technical crew. It’s a big show to stage. And great fun.

Our burlesque shows have a variety of stripteasers, dancers, fetish acts, live music, circus, Vaudeville and comedy.

Our burlesque performers are among the most beautiful in the world. Famed for their talent, style and taste.

DRESS CODE

Our audience is the most important element of our club nights. They are dressed to kill. This is not a fancy dress club. This is a club where you can dress up. Big difference. Using the powerful tool of clothes to satisfy your alter egos, your dark sides, and cast off your inhibitions.

We operate a no jeans or trainers rule for most events, but relax this for specially chosen events such as the Fringe where we know tourists won’t necessarily have packed their best finery.

If you’re wondering what to wear – trust us, you can never be too dressed up. Be inspired by the theme. Browse the galleries to see what others wear. Or check out the following ideas.

Men: kilt, military, suit, black shirt and trousers, zoot suit, punk, Rockabilly, vintage or repro vintage, dinner suit, smart hats, drag (not for a joke though), rubber, smoking jacket, Mod, costume from around the world, PVC, sarongs, Old Hollywood, fetish, dandy, Moulin Rouge, uniform, top hat and tails,

Women: military, cocktail dress, little black dress, prom dress, ballgown, Rockabilly, vintage or repro vintage, hats, rubber, costumes from around the world, showgirls, Dita Von Teese, old Hollywood, lingerie, fetish, Moulin Rouge, corsets, burlesque, lingerie, rubber, drag king, uniform, hats, femme fatale, Paris chic

VENUES

Club Noir’s main home is The O2 Academy Glasgow is an Art Deco former cinema.

It hosts concerts for the likes of James Brown, Blondie, Stray Cats, Morrissey, The Verve, Lily Allen, Amy Winehouse, Kaiser Chiefs, Sugababes, Massive Attack, etc, etc. We are very proud to follow in these stars’ footsteps onto the big stage which allows us to produce great shows with world-class production.

This is on a busy road with lots of access to public transport. Loads of taxis take this route back into town.  44 bus takes you to the West End – many other buses too. Bridge Street subway station is next door.  Or a short walk over the bridge from town. For further info contact Traveline 0871 200 2233.

MUSIC

Vintage, retro and modern dance music from the 20th century to the present day. Our Resident DJ is DJ Loveless who has been with us since day one. His encyclopaedic knowledge of music is ideal for the demands Club Noir puts on him. He is always complemented by other DJs throughout the night.

We also showcase great bands too. Quirky to cool from The Puppini Sisters to Vince Ray and the Boneshakers.

COCKTAILS

We find cocktails irresistible and we always have themed cocktails for the night. Oh and we enjoy our share of Champagne at Club Noir too.

CLUB NOIR MUSIC - we host gigs with the kind of music we know Club Noir fans will love. Check our Calendar for latest events.

CLUB NOIR FILMS - we have a liaison with the Grosvenor Cinema Glasgow and Perth Playhouse  to show films we know Club Noir fans will love. Check events in Calendar.

CLUB NOIR THEATRE SHOWS – we did 2 nights at the beautiful Citizens Theatre in May 2011. Plus a show at the enormous Kings Theatre in March 2011 as part of the Glasgow Comedy Festival.

BURLESQUE WORKSHOPS We’ve had many compliments from people who have attended these. We’ve even done them for National Theatre of Scotland and Scottish Parliament.

EVENTS MANAGEMENT We are old hands at event management. If you want  Club Noir to add a bit of sparkle to your event, whether it’s for 2 people or 2,000 then please email sarah@clubnoir.co.uk.

TALENT MANAGEMENT We have provided background artistes and extras for film and TV. If you require people who are glamorous, freakish, sexy, fetish – then you’ve come to the right place. Email sarah@clubnoir.co.uk